Bottles of Rain

Ever just get a little down on yourself?
That is where I'm at right now. Just a little sad with my life. I never doubt Makenna's love for her mommy, but everyone else seems questionable at the moment. Things in life pile up on you all at once from time to time and that is when our strength is truly tested.
I have a very busy week ahead of me, a member of my family is going for surgery and I once again have a court date for Makenna's contact with her father. Both of which are very emotionally upsetting to me today. And you know what just for this evening I'm going to allow it! Typically I am a bottler, the type to not let anything visibly bother me, and never letting my emotions show or be spoken about. Now many argue that this is unhealthy but my retort is that it's been working for me darn good for 22 years! But tonight I feel quite overwhelmed. I plan on enjoying a cold beer, a good meal, and a long cry/vent session.
Dealing with these stresses is especially difficult without having the support of my friends, most of whom live across the country. Just to have a coffee with a girl friend would undoubtedly do me a world of good. Also not having the support of a relationship can be trying and down right depressing. I, like many other mothers, miss the communication and support that comes with a relationship. I miss a lot of that contact.
But I am always a pillar of strength when these tests rain down on me, and as always Makenna is my daily saving grace. Our children are our reason for breathing, and making it through each day as best and positively as we can. And I am blessed in so many ways that I cant allow myself more then an evening of wallowing.
Break the rules, find your freedom, live your life <3